FOR GOD'S SAKE STFU

Theodoros MUPPET Pangalos, the alabaster Ganymede of Greek politics, has done it again.

In a recent statement, the monolith of Greek socialism suggested that Portugal would be next to face the wrath of global sovereign debt markets. This may or may not be an accurate assessment, although frankly I doubt Pangalos has the wherewithal or the clarity of mind to make accurate predictions on the future of financial markets.

But this is all particularly rich coming from a man who only a few weeks ago also said:

"By speculating on Greek bonds at the expense of your friend and partner, by allowing credit institutions of the country (Germany) to participate in this deplorable game, some people are making money [...] As long as southern Europe is under fire, the euro is being shaken and falling and the conditions under which they (Germany) can win massive exports to the third world, to the rest of the world, are improving"

How about you STFU about Portugal then, Teddy Bear? Are they not our friend and partner? Or do specuLOLtors only take cues from ze Germans?

Even more disingenuously, T-Pan (as he is now known) suggested that the real reason for Germany's opposition to a Greek bailout is not the fact that they have enough problems as it is without having to throw their sort-of-good money after our definitely-bad money, but the fact that they are racist - and jealous of our good cheer and good weather to boot.

No doubt in T-Pan's doughnut-addled brain this is a matter of "hitting them where it hurts". If so, one wonders whether he has any concept of irony. Is this the man to throw Germany's fascist past in their face when he is himself the grandson of one of the more famous in our long line of dictators - for whose inept reign he has yet to apologise or pay compensation?



And yet, what if it is? What if our repeated jibes do really provoke a reaction? Will this point-scoring mean anything if Greece has to drag itself on its knees into the widely-reviled and often counterproductive IMF straightjacket?

But perhaps the greatest irony of all is Pangalos' eagerness to share his wise words of warning with the Portuguese, telling them they are "next" as if our storm in a yoghurt churn were over. As today's bond offering once again hit a yield rate that I could probably get a mortgage at, perhaps Portuguese readers were less eager to bask in the endless lard-dripping glory of our elder statesman than he'd thought.

The brilliant finale to all of this MUPPETry, meant to provide a distraction from the austerity package being put into place this is the following quote:

"Greece will always exist, as we have existed for 8,000 years, out of the euro and EU".

Yes, T-Pan, it's true, we will exist exactly as we did thousands of years ago. Half-naked, barefoot, half of us in slavery and everyone buggering each other silly.

Well done asshole!