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Tuesday, 29 December 2009

WE IZ IN UR PUBLIC UTILITIEZ, BEING STUPID

We in Greece do not have to choose between socialism and climate change denial - we believe in nothing and can therefore disbelieve whatever we like.

But even so, we had yet to see anything quite as masterful as the recent letter to the Greek minister for Climate Change, signed by the Association of Graduate Technicians at Greece's Public Electricity Company (ΔΕΗ).

If you're not Greek and you don't know what the company's initials stand for, you may assume that this is a professional body of energy technicians. In fact they are a union whose sole purpose is to ensure that the gap in pay and benefits between those of ΔΕΗ's employees who have a technical university degree and those who do not remains as large as possible.

What they believe their role to be is evident from the following LOLpic which they have used in the latest of their military inspired newsletters  Hint for non-Greeks: the guy on the right, holding up a card that reads "harsh [fiscal] measures" is EU Commissioner for Economic and Financial Affairs Joaquín Almunia. The "300" reference is as laughable as it is obvious.


What is truly remarkable, however, is the content of the letter itself. I am pleased to offer a small selection of passages, whose profound absurdity is all the more obvious in translation. Quotation marks are not inserted by myself - they are part of the masterpiece that is the original text.

These "cabbage-green" homunculi (cabbage-green for their ecological concerns) who pompously style themselves "Head of Policy at the WWF" (leader of the troops), or "Head of Energy Matters at Greenpeace", should know, if they do not already, that Greece has enjoyed 60-odd years of energy security and cheap energy on a KWH basis, thanks to ΔΕΗ, which has made and continues to make the most efficient use of our national fuel, brown coal [lignite].

[...]

This environment stuff is all very nice, and we agree with the development of renewable energy sources and the "20-20-20" targets for 2020.

[Note: this refers to the European Commission target for sourcing 20% of EU member states' energy from renewables and reducing carbon emissions by 20%, compared to 1990 levels, by 2020]

We will support any initiative of yours aimed at a larger ΔΕΗ with brown coal, our national fuel, as its main fuel.

We agree with your rock-chick coutoure and your wealth of "knowledge"
[...]

We are well-versed in hard rock and, when in the right, we can quickly acquire Ph.D.s in Street Studies.
[Note: In Greece, "Hard Rock" is an archaic byword for confrontational politics. Ph.D. in Street Studies is a reference to the new Minister's university studies as well as a hint that the Union is willing to employ aggressive industrial action]

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