Saturday, 26 June 2010


So, G-PAP, why is it safe to invest in Greece? I'm asking because I keep getting queries about how to move money out of Greece to a UK bank account and I'd like to just tell everyone to leave me alone.

My line so far has been that when Greece finally defaults, there really won't be any safe place left in Europe to put one's money except into gold coins and up one's own rectum.

But now our PM offers a glimmer of hope. How, I hear you ask?

Enjoy his ludicrously chummy interview with FOX News, that unrivalled bastion of socialist thought. G-PAP explains that Greece is a safe place for tourists, and hence a great place to invest if you're keen to profit from that industry. 0:22" into the interview, the FAIL lands with a momentous thud:

"Greece has a tourism industry that can really thrive, and which can become more attractive; we're now moving into niche tourism, high-quality tourism; Greece is a safe country, it's a beautiful country, a hospitable country, I'd like to make that plug on FOX News [...] " [Emphasis mine]

Let's qualify that, shall we? There are still some parts of the country that are pretty rough, where a man (or woman, including pregnant ones) can get killed just minding his/her own business. Like any bank in the centre of Athens. Like that training centre for bureaucrats in Patissia where a 15 yr old Afghan boy got a heavy sample of our hospitality. And, recently, like Greece's ministry for law enforcement, where the correspondence (no doubt checked diligently by the heavily unionised security staff and postal workers before them) has become literaly too hot to handle.

To be fair to G-PAP, no one actually mails any bombs to any of our islands - perhaps they can't be sure they will arrive. Indeed, there are almost no recorded incidents of this sort anywhere in the countryside. Which begs that question: who are our urban guerillas?  Any guesses as to where they live, or where they meet? Any guesses as to why they do what they do? (Actually, there have been some early guesses, in this excellent piece of research.)

At any rate, some of our compatriots are not too keen on these questions. What appears to matter to some is who bears the political responsibility, and who should therefore resign. Others do not mention the news at all - as they say, only the state and the capitalists are murderers. Others still, elected political leaders no less, say it's all a ploy to divert attention from recent austerity measures. The fact that some of our compatriots have no regard for human life in their ridiculous pursuit of failed ideologies is secondary

Let me be clear: the tiny, fringe element of the Greek Left will not cease to be knuckle-dragging subhumans if G-PAP and half his cabinet quit. Their well-to-do fathers will not grow a pair and turn them in if we beef up security at ministries. Those of our pupils who live for the few weeks of school occupations per year will not apologise for glorifying the molotov culture if every employer in the country accepts responsibility for the bombing.

It is true that Greece has enormous wind energy potential. If only the wind weren't blowing out of our own arses.

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